Honestly, Claudia, I can't leave you for five minutes without my blog being destroyed, can I?
"It's not my fault. You're the one who let in that maniac in the first place."
She's not a maniac! She's my MC.
"Whatever you call her, she's still running around the circuits somewhere. What with you writing in the first person, I'm surprised you can get any writing done at all."
It's surprisingly easy to copy her narrative style.
"All right. Now, shoo, go fix the blog."
I don't think so. I think I'm going to go write, sucker.
"Don't you dare click that publish post butt—"
Showing posts with label Claudia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Claudia. Show all posts
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Iris Drops By For A Guest Post
Oh bloody hell, it's the tenth and I haven't updated in four days.
Here is a brief rant by my MC about…giant swamp monsters destroying libraries. (They are a serious issue!) I could be working on my novel right about now, but instead I'm doing this. Screw it, it's my novel, I can do what I like. FREEDOM OF NOVEL RIGHTS! FREEDOM!
Ahem.
---
It's not as if I like being pulled out of reality, dropped in a chair in front of a computer, and told to write a blog post. "Any sort of blog post," they said. She said. There's only one of them, but she's two inches taller than I am and looks pretty insane at the moment, so I should probably be very, very scared.
What sort of blog is this anyway?! There's a thing up at the top that says Newfallen Mystery, but what does that mean?! Spellcheck says that Newfallen isn't even a word!
So, life pretty much sucks. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't constantly worried about my friends, terrified out of my mind of Ms. Freeman, agitated that I can't even come up with a good name for the swamp monster—
Oh yes, the swamp monster. There's two of them, and the baby is in the process of destroying my beloved library. Let me tell you, for a baby, that thing is pretty damn big.
"Omnia told you not to swear on her blog."
Who the hell are you?!
"I'm the Inner Editor. Now stop that."
Stop what?
"Swearing. Her mother reads this blog, you know."
I am so confused.
"Well, here comes Omnia to give you a boot back into the novel. You should stay on your best behavior if you ever want to come back and do guest posts again."
But I don't want to do guest posts again!
"Well then I suppose you should just vandalize the blog and hope that she never invites you back."
That's a very good idea, pinkish-purple text.
"I am Claudia, the Inner Editor."
I'm sure you are, dear. What was that you were saying about vandalism?
"I—"
SDJKGHSDKFJHGKGAKJERHSDGGJSDJRHGT THIS IS STUPID.
"Obviously, you do not understand sarcasm."
Here is a brief rant by my MC about…giant swamp monsters destroying libraries. (They are a serious issue!) I could be working on my novel right about now, but instead I'm doing this. Screw it, it's my novel, I can do what I like. FREEDOM OF NOVEL RIGHTS! FREEDOM!
Ahem.
---
It's not as if I like being pulled out of reality, dropped in a chair in front of a computer, and told to write a blog post. "Any sort of blog post," they said. She said. There's only one of them, but she's two inches taller than I am and looks pretty insane at the moment, so I should probably be very, very scared.
What sort of blog is this anyway?! There's a thing up at the top that says Newfallen Mystery, but what does that mean?! Spellcheck says that Newfallen isn't even a word!
So, life pretty much sucks. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't constantly worried about my friends, terrified out of my mind of Ms. Freeman, agitated that I can't even come up with a good name for the swamp monster—
Oh yes, the swamp monster. There's two of them, and the baby is in the process of destroying my beloved library. Let me tell you, for a baby, that thing is pretty damn big.
"Omnia told you not to swear on her blog."
Who the hell are you?!
"I'm the Inner Editor. Now stop that."
Stop what?
"Swearing. Her mother reads this blog, you know."
I am so confused.
"Well, here comes Omnia to give you a boot back into the novel. You should stay on your best behavior if you ever want to come back and do guest posts again."
But I don't want to do guest posts again!
"Well then I suppose you should just vandalize the blog and hope that she never invites you back."
That's a very good idea, pinkish-purple text.
"I am Claudia, the Inner Editor."
I'm sure you are, dear. What was that you were saying about vandalism?
"I—"
SDJKGHSDKFJHGKGAKJERHSDGGJSDJRHGT THIS IS STUPID.
"Obviously, you do not understand sarcasm."
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Bored Sunday Review
Let me share my opinions on a certain movie, I mean, book series.
I've been a massive fan of ancient Greek mythology from a very young age, although I couldn't pinpoint why. I seriously dislike it when movies and books much around with characters, especially Hades. Look, he's not Satan. That's one of my biggest berserk buttons. He had to rule over the Underworld because he lost at drawing straws. Practically the worst thing he did in the original myths was kidnapping Persephone, and even that turned out all right in the end. It's not like he maliciously tried to—ahem. I'll stop here.
Again, I'm a fan of Greek mythology. Of course, I liked the Percy Jackson books. Like Anatopsis, it had a pretty good representation of the Greek gods, and the books were well-written. The characters were interesting and the plot was great. They had a better-than-most descriptions of ADHD, too. Not my favorite book series EVAR, but I do have most of the books and I read all of them. And that's my review of the Percy Jackson series. Uh-huh, that's all of it.
"What about the movie?"
The movie—What movie? Um, there was a movie? Huh! Fancy that!
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, Omnia. You've seen it twice."
Fine, I'll talk about the movie now.
Yeah…the Percy Jackson movie. To put it simply, I didn't like it. It didn't follow the plot of the book at all, the characters were completely messed up, and they ruined continuity enough to ensure that a sequel movie would never be possible. The special effects were good, for the most part, but that still doesn't make up for the defecated canon.
First of all, the characters. I thought that many of the characters were well-cast, like Percy and Luke, but the Power Trio are supposed to be in sixth grade. That means twelve—well, except for Grover, but that doesn't count! Why, why, why, why are they driving around in a red truck? I admit, if they had returned them to their canonical ages and had them get around like they did in the book it would have taken a lot longer, but it would have been better. I'm not asking for a line-by-line representation of the book, but they could have done it better.
One of my favorite parts was Medusa. That scene was well doneand I was cracking Weeping Angel jokes through the whole thing. Inversely, there were a lot of scenes that I didn't like. I didn't like the casino scene, I didn't like the Hades scene or Grover staying with Persephone (There are just so many things wrong with that, I don't even…), and I didn't like the scene at the motel.
The special effects were good, but the characters seemed rather flat and the new plot contrived. Going on a quest for mystical pearls, which are hidden in plain sight all across the country? Really? What was wrong with the original?
Okay, this is a really long post, so I'm just going to end it here. Scha-CHA!
"Omnia, dear, the readers can't see your giant Fate scissors."
Aw, poot. Well, so long for today, my good reader! If you liked this post, I'll do another one next week comparing the Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang book to the movie.
:)
I've been a massive fan of ancient Greek mythology from a very young age, although I couldn't pinpoint why. I seriously dislike it when movies and books much around with characters, especially Hades. Look, he's not Satan. That's one of my biggest berserk buttons. He had to rule over the Underworld because he lost at drawing straws. Practically the worst thing he did in the original myths was kidnapping Persephone, and even that turned out all right in the end. It's not like he maliciously tried to—ahem. I'll stop here.
Again, I'm a fan of Greek mythology. Of course, I liked the Percy Jackson books. Like Anatopsis, it had a pretty good representation of the Greek gods, and the books were well-written. The characters were interesting and the plot was great. They had a better-than-most descriptions of ADHD, too. Not my favorite book series EVAR, but I do have most of the books and I read all of them. And that's my review of the Percy Jackson series. Uh-huh, that's all of it.
"What about the movie?"
The movie—What movie? Um, there was a movie? Huh! Fancy that!
"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, Omnia. You've seen it twice."
Fine, I'll talk about the movie now.
Yeah…the Percy Jackson movie. To put it simply, I didn't like it. It didn't follow the plot of the book at all, the characters were completely messed up, and they ruined continuity enough to ensure that a sequel movie would never be possible. The special effects were good, for the most part, but that still doesn't make up for the defecated canon.
First of all, the characters. I thought that many of the characters were well-cast, like Percy and Luke, but the Power Trio are supposed to be in sixth grade. That means twelve—well, except for Grover, but that doesn't count! Why, why, why, why are they driving around in a red truck? I admit, if they had returned them to their canonical ages and had them get around like they did in the book it would have taken a lot longer, but it would have been better. I'm not asking for a line-by-line representation of the book, but they could have done it better.
One of my favorite parts was Medusa. That scene was well done
The special effects were good, but the characters seemed rather flat and the new plot contrived. Going on a quest for mystical pearls, which are hidden in plain sight all across the country? Really? What was wrong with the original?
Okay, this is a really long post, so I'm just going to end it here. Scha-CHA!
"Omnia, dear, the readers can't see your giant Fate scissors."
Aw, poot. Well, so long for today, my good reader! If you liked this post, I'll do another one next week comparing the Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang book to the movie.
:)
Friday, July 29, 2011
How 4-H Annoyed Me By Criticizing My Writing
*pokes blog*
Well, I haven't really updated in a while. I must rectify this by telling you a fabulous (and pretty long) tale of adventure, writing, heartbreak, and revenge. The title of the story is How 4-H Annoyed Me By Criticizing My Writing, which also happens to be the title of the post. Fancy that.
Still have no idea what those numbers mean. I got the picture off Wikipedia.
Yes, a few years ago I was in 4-H. It might just be me, but it wasn't quite as exciting as TV would have you believe. But then I found out that there was a category for the fair for creative writing, and everything was happiness and rainbows and smiling clouds.
And then I found out that for a first year in said category, the word limit was 400 words.
400 words.
I couldn't write squat in 400 words. Well, it was a long time ago and my writing skills weren't that developed yet. I could write pretty long stuff, but short stories were kind of beyond me. What a foolish, naive child I was.
But I tried. In the end, I had to count some of the words as images and leave a few things out of my word counting in order to stay within limits. I think I had maybe 399 words after that. There's no rule against cheating a tiny bit, is there?
"Actually, there is. That's why it's called cheating."
I slid past the judges at the township fair, which qualified me to go to the county fair. My general outlook on the situation was "W00T! I'm the best!"
After judging was over at the county fair, I skipped into the fine arts building to receive my enormous trophy and check for $1 bazillion dollars. Imagine my surprise to find that my story—the one I had worked so freaking hard to make the most brilliant 400 word story at the whole fair—had gotten a red ribbon.
"Lacks character development," they said.
"Lacks brain cells," I said.
To be fair, it was pretty crappy. Probably the stupidest thing I've written since the Little Kitten books. *shudder* I just couldn't see it through my rose-tinted pride-glasses and childish hubris.
The next year, I was determined to win. I had been left a bitter husk by the critiquing of my little Cinderella story. Contributing to the bitter-husk-factor was the fact that the drawing that I had worked on for hour had gotten a freaking white ribbon. Because the stones were uneven. That's how they are in medieval castles. Geez… Looking back on it, I probably could have done the stones a little better. I think my nostalgia goggles are falling apart.
This year, I could write 500 words. Apparently, a hundred little words can make a huge difference. Or maybe I was just better at writing a year later.
I spent hours—or maybe it was only about twenty minutes, as I was quite an impatient child—writing up detailed character bios for characters I ended up cutting. For those of you keeping track at home, this makes the most character info I have ever written before actually writing the story. In the end, I didn't actually use most of the information I invented. I cut swathes of details, leaving me with three major characters and two minor, which is two more characters than I had the year before.
It paid off. I would have gone to the State Fair, that unattainable epitome of 4-H prowess, 'cept creative writing doesn't have a State Fair category.
Oh well. I got a purple honor ribbon in photography, at least.
We here at Newfallen Mystery Enterprises hope you have enjoyed this random and fairly self-centered excursion into Miss Clepe's backstory while she procrastinates on writing. Cheers!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Ireland, pt 5: I Lost My Notebook
Look, I'm just going to stop making excuses for not writing. Camp has been controlling my life. But now I'm back on track, so I'm good. It's cool, it's cool! Right?
What's not good is that I lost my notebook. Hey, I don't claim to be a person who can hold on to something for half an hour without losing it in the deep, dark abyss that is my room. I'll try to write from memory, but, as we all know, my memory is crap.
Okay, let's see… Oh! I remember what I did that day! We went back to the Tall Ships Festival and while we was selling CDs, Dean and I got hassled by a small group of ten-year-old Irish boys. It was hilarious!
…
That's all I remember. What else did I do? Think, think…
I think…I woke up. Yes, I'm fairly sure I did that. I remember having breakfast, but…let's just say I had yogurt. When in doubt, I had yogurt for breakfast. That was my staple food in Ireland.
Yogurt.
Well, after that…I went and picked strawberries! Let's just say I picked strawberries. And while I was picking those strawberries — which tasted really nasty, because I had just brushed my teeth — in came the peacock, over the garden wall!
This story interesting so far? Good.
While I was shying away from said peacock, him ignored me and walked through a clump of vines on the wall.
"Since when were there vines on the wall?"
Aw, crap. The exorcism didn't hold. Shut up a minute, Claudia.
Curious, I followed him and found myself in a glade of pine trees.
"Here we go again…"
Pine trees, yeah? So I followed the peacock to a river, where there was a dock and a tiny boat. I got in the boat with the peacock, and then he bit the rope keeping us by the dock and we sailed down the river. Well, boated. There wasn't a sail.
Later, we drifted to a stop next to a large, gleaming city populated entirely by tiny owls. Owls, yeah. While the peacock and I were walking around the city, it became apparent that the original human inhabitants had all died and disintegrated for some reason.
"Now you're just quoting the synopsis of your original novel idea, the one you dropped in favor of that superhero story."
The peacock and I entered the royal library, where we found a scroll. This scroll explained what happened to the citizens of Pelycis —
"You're going to have to get going if you want to make it back in time to be hassled by small Irish boys."
Oh no, I forgot!
Um, then the peacock turned on me and chased me into a portal, which brought me out in the living room of my cottage. I got dressed and then we went to the Tall Ships Festival. The end.
[DISCLAIMER: None of the above may be true.]
What's not good is that I lost my notebook. Hey, I don't claim to be a person who can hold on to something for half an hour without losing it in the deep, dark abyss that is my room. I'll try to write from memory, but, as we all know, my memory is crap.
Okay, let's see… Oh! I remember what I did that day! We went back to the Tall Ships Festival and while we was selling CDs, Dean and I got hassled by a small group of ten-year-old Irish boys. It was hilarious!
…
That's all I remember. What else did I do? Think, think…
I think…I woke up. Yes, I'm fairly sure I did that. I remember having breakfast, but…let's just say I had yogurt. When in doubt, I had yogurt for breakfast. That was my staple food in Ireland.
Yogurt.
Yogurt.
Well, after that…I went and picked strawberries! Let's just say I picked strawberries. And while I was picking those strawberries — which tasted really nasty, because I had just brushed my teeth — in came the peacock, over the garden wall!
This story interesting so far? Good.
While I was shying away from said peacock, him ignored me and walked through a clump of vines on the wall.
"Since when were there vines on the wall?"
Aw, crap. The exorcism didn't hold. Shut up a minute, Claudia.
Curious, I followed him and found myself in a glade of pine trees.
"Here we go again…"
Pine trees, yeah? So I followed the peacock to a river, where there was a dock and a tiny boat. I got in the boat with the peacock, and then he bit the rope keeping us by the dock and we sailed down the river. Well, boated. There wasn't a sail.
Later, we drifted to a stop next to a large, gleaming city populated entirely by tiny owls. Owls, yeah. While the peacock and I were walking around the city, it became apparent that the original human inhabitants had all died and disintegrated for some reason.
"Now you're just quoting the synopsis of your original novel idea, the one you dropped in favor of that superhero story."
The peacock and I entered the royal library, where we found a scroll. This scroll explained what happened to the citizens of Pelycis —
"You're going to have to get going if you want to make it back in time to be hassled by small Irish boys."
Oh no, I forgot!
Um, then the peacock turned on me and chased me into a portal, which brought me out in the living room of my cottage. I got dressed and then we went to the Tall Ships Festival. The end.
[DISCLAIMER: None of the above may be true.]
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Posting Less
Only in my mind could a sentence like "Oh no! I almost knocked over the shot glass of raspberries with my elephant!" make sense.
To business.
As of today, I will be posting much more erratically. If I get an idea for a post, I will write it, but I'm not going to write half a dozen blog posts of padding a week. So…erratic. Yeah. Maybe I'll even start editing, or making sure I have a climatic ending for each post. This is partially due to Claudia chastising me for all those pointless posts.
Um…. Here's a picture of a swimming pool.
To business.
As of today, I will be posting much more erratically. If I get an idea for a post, I will write it, but I'm not going to write half a dozen blog posts of padding a week. So…erratic. Yeah. Maybe I'll even start editing, or making sure I have a climatic ending for each post. This is partially due to Claudia chastising me for all those pointless posts.
Um…. Here's a picture of a swimming pool.
Isn't that lovely.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Have I Mentioned That I Have A Cat Today?
Yeah, she's still here. I haven't accidently killed her, gone insane and murdered her, lost her, or sold her for iTunes cards.
"Good Lord."
Okay, that sounded really, really bad. Dark humor, people, I'll be here all week! Or until the Internet dies, whichever comes first!
I'm just going to try this again.
My cat is being a lovely little mollycoddle ("That word makes no sense in context, Omnia."), which here means "the silliest cat I have ever owned. For serious."
"No! It! Doesn't! It means to treat someone very indulgently or protectively, or, as a noun, an effeminate man or boy! Sometimes I think you say things just to spite me!"
Yup. Way to rawr, Claud.
Now that Claudia has curled up in the corner, sobbing over my word choice, I can go on with my post:
Salisbury--that's one of my nicknames for her. Salisbury. 'Cause, you know, her name's Sally. Other nicknames include Puddin', Cat-Cat, Sal, and Holy-Crap-How-Did-You-Do-That-?!
So, Sal's been--
You know what, I never actually planned any content for this post, so…
*end*
(Also, I cannot find my library card. This frightens and upsets me.)
(Also, here is something awesome. It's, like, funny. And stuff.
"Good Lord."
Okay, that sounded really, really bad. Dark humor, people, I'll be here all week! Or until the Internet dies, whichever comes first!
I'm just going to try this again.
My cat is being a lovely little mollycoddle ("That word makes no sense in context, Omnia."), which here means "the silliest cat I have ever owned. For serious."
"No! It! Doesn't! It means to treat someone very indulgently or protectively, or, as a noun, an effeminate man or boy! Sometimes I think you say things just to spite me!"
Yup. Way to rawr, Claud.
Now that Claudia has curled up in the corner, sobbing over my word choice, I can go on with my post:
Salisbury--that's one of my nicknames for her. Salisbury. 'Cause, you know, her name's Sally. Other nicknames include Puddin', Cat-Cat, Sal, and Holy-Crap-How-Did-You-Do-That-?!
So, Sal's been--
You know what, I never actually planned any content for this post, so…
*end*
(Also, I cannot find my library card. This frightens and upsets me.)
(Also, here is something awesome. It's, like, funny. And stuff.
Friday, June 10, 2011
48…49…50…51…
Hi. I'm bored. This post shall have no coherency whatsoever.
Well…I'm brushing my hair. Well, I say brushing. I'm combing my hair, because I have not been able to find my hairbrush for many years. I decided to brush my hair with 100 strokes, just 'cause I'm awesome like that.
I'm up to 55.
Whatsoever is a cool word. So is defenestration. And sequences. But I think my favorite word is feline. 'cause it sounds groovy, yo.
I'll stop trying to be cool now. I lost all my coolness years ago, when I realized that I would devote the rest of my life to being an enormous geek.
68 strokes now.
Pachyderm is also a really cool word. So is tachyon. Which I have been pronouncing wrong. It's takee-on. Or maybe the dictionary is lying to me.
82!
How could the dictionary betray me like that? We used to be tight, and now… (See paragraph #5)
100 strokes! Wanna see if I can make it to 1000?!
No, I'm not going to do that. You may throw yourselves onto the floor and weep hysterically now.
I really hope no one randomly runs across my blog today. This isn't a typical post, I swear.
"Yes, it is."
I could have sworn I had a few contingency posts to put up at times when I couldn't think of a single good thing to say. Obviously, I don't. I should do that…
There is a quote somewhere over here. There will now be a new quote there EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Well…I'm brushing my hair. Well, I say brushing. I'm combing my hair, because I have not been able to find my hairbrush for many years. I decided to brush my hair with 100 strokes, just 'cause I'm awesome like that.
I'm up to 55.
Whatsoever is a cool word. So is defenestration. And sequences. But I think my favorite word is feline. 'cause it sounds groovy, yo.
I'll stop trying to be cool now. I lost all my coolness years ago, when I realized that I would devote the rest of my life to being an enormous geek.
68 strokes now.
Pachyderm is also a really cool word. So is tachyon. Which I have been pronouncing wrong. It's takee-on. Or maybe the dictionary is lying to me.
82!
How could the dictionary betray me like that? We used to be tight, and now… (See paragraph #5)
100 strokes! Wanna see if I can make it to 1000?!
No, I'm not going to do that. You may throw yourselves onto the floor and weep hysterically now.
n
I really hope no one randomly runs across my blog today. This isn't a typical post, I swear.
"Yes, it is."
I could have sworn I had a few contingency posts to put up at times when I couldn't think of a single good thing to say. Obviously, I don't. I should do that…
There is a quote somewhere over here. There will now be a new quote there EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Whoa, I totally didn't plan for the arrow to be pointing exactly at the quote. Just kind of in the general area.
(EFITIFY: The arrow no longer points right at the quote. I'm sorry you missed it.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
It's Like Monty Python With Robots
I get to drive four hours with my mom to go to the orthodontist today--*headdesk*--but I'll be back tomorrow.
You know something's wrong when I am awake at 6 AM.
So, I had a really weird dream last night while I was only half asleep after half-waking up at 3 AM. Like, super weird. Even for me.
I don't remember a lot of it, but I think there was a plot kind of like Monty Python's The Holy Grail, except Bender from Futurama was in it. And there was another part that I think had Vendetta from Making Fiends.
I'm not quite as original as I used to be. Maybe it's all the TV I've been watching. If it wasn't for Netflix and Hulu, I would literally go insane.
Speaking of TV, did anyone see the Doctor Who mid-season finale on Saturday? Wait, it hasn't been broadcasted in the states yet.
Okay, here's an awesome thing for today. In case you're wondering, this doesn't count. But I'm still laughing evilly.
I'm sure Claudia has something to say about this, but I don't have enough life force to summon her from the depths of Hel today.
No, that's not a typo. She's Nordic.
You know something's wrong when I am awake at 6 AM.
So, I had a really weird dream last night while I was only half asleep after half-waking up at 3 AM. Like, super weird. Even for me.
I don't remember a lot of it, but I think there was a plot kind of like Monty Python's The Holy Grail, except Bender from Futurama was in it. And there was another part that I think had Vendetta from Making Fiends.
I'm not quite as original as I used to be. Maybe it's all the TV I've been watching. If it wasn't for Netflix and Hulu, I would literally go insane.
Speaking of TV, did anyone see the Doctor Who mid-season finale on Saturday? Wait, it hasn't been broadcasted in the states yet.
Okay, here's an awesome thing for today. In case you're wondering, this doesn't count. But I'm still laughing evilly.
I'm sure Claudia has something to say about this, but I don't have enough life force to summon her from the depths of Hel today.
No, that's not a typo. She's Nordic.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Zoological
I went to the zoo this morning! They have some really cool animals there.
"I think it's a given for the zoo to have 'some really cool animals.'"
Whatever, Claudia. Whatever.
Cool animals, see?
"I think it's a given for the zoo to have 'some really cool animals.'"
Whatever, Claudia. Whatever.
Cool animals, see?
Penguins! And puffins! Puffins, walking on the rocks right above my head! It's a wonder they didn't just jump off. I guess the likes of me will never know why…
My stupid phone camera has no zoom feature. These are flamingos, in case you couldn't tell.
There was a cool carousel, too.
Exactly what it says on the elaborate door.
That is, that there are birds inside.
Believe it or not, while we were there we spotted an animal outside of its enclosure. One of the more vicious li'l beasts too:
T. straitus, the eastern chipmunk. Genus Tamias, family Sciuridae. The horror.
D'aw, lookit the cute li'l monkey!
I'M A TURTLE! HAPPY HAPPY--GIMME YOUR MONEY!
And I spotted this cutie in the Herpetarium:
j/k
Oh, I tried to, but these buff guys with radios dragged me out of the zoo after I mauled a Dippin' Dot's stand.
And that is the story of my trip to the zoo. This uber-long post full of pictures makes up for not blogging yesterday.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Forums Are Dead
Yes, what a very straightforward post title. I swear that, this time at least, the post title is not misleading and does exactly what it says on the tin. For once.
Because I have no life to speak of, I tend to hang out on the NaNoWriMo forums rather a lot. And today I am sad, because it seems like I'm the only person who is constantly stalking the Teens and Games forums, waiting for someone else to post.
Apparently, a lot more people get on in November, although I wouldn't know. If NaNoWriMo was a huge party IRL, I would be the one sitting quietly in the corner with her hands neatly folded in her lap, occasionally speaking a few words to other Wrimos--but only if they talked to me first. Notebook and/or library book optional. You don't want to know how many times this has actually happened to me.
"This was the point of your post? To explain why you're bored? Dear me…"
Shaddup, Claudia. I do what I like.
Because I have no life to speak of, I tend to hang out on the NaNoWriMo forums rather a lot. And today I am sad, because it seems like I'm the only person who is constantly stalking the Teens and Games forums, waiting for someone else to post.
Apparently, a lot more people get on in November, although I wouldn't know. If NaNoWriMo was a huge party IRL, I would be the one sitting quietly in the corner with her hands neatly folded in her lap, occasionally speaking a few words to other Wrimos--but only if they talked to me first. Notebook and/or library book optional. You don't want to know how many times this has actually happened to me.
"This was the point of your post? To explain why you're bored? Dear me…"
Shaddup, Claudia. I do what I like.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Whatcha Doin'?
Hey, hi, how ya doin'?
Good, good… Yes, I'm alive. Now, I know you've all been pining for another post for days, eagerly clicking over here to see if I've updated.
So here's your stupid post. Laugh yourself sick on it.
Oh, sorry, did that come off as mean? I do apologize.
"Why don't you actually say something, instead of hemming and hawing and making references to The Simpsons DVD commentary? That's probably the nerdiest thing you've done on this blog."
Nerdiest on this blog, but not in real life.
"Get on with it!"
So-rry, Miss Persnickety.
"Maybe you should talk to your audience now, instead of having meaningless arguments with your muse."
You are not my muse, Claudia. My muse is an elephant. Um, that made more sense in my head, I promise.
And now it's time for some actual content.
…
Screw it. I'm taking the day off.
Good, good… Yes, I'm alive. Now, I know you've all been pining for another post for days, eagerly clicking over here to see if I've updated.
So here's your stupid post. Laugh yourself sick on it.
Oh, sorry, did that come off as mean? I do apologize.
"Why don't you actually say something, instead of hemming and hawing and making references to The Simpsons DVD commentary? That's probably the nerdiest thing you've done on this blog."
Nerdiest on this blog, but not in real life.
"Get on with it!"
So-rry, Miss Persnickety.
"Maybe you should talk to your audience now, instead of having meaningless arguments with your muse."
You are not my muse, Claudia. My muse is an elephant. Um, that made more sense in my head, I promise.
And now it's time for some actual content.
…
Screw it. I'm taking the day off.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Cat. Cat? Cat.
This might be a long winded post, so I'll cut to the chase (that's a funny phrase, cut to the chase. I wonder where it--*):
I'm getting a cat!
A kitten actually. And it's definitely going to be a girl, because my mom has already had two guy cats and she wants a girl cat now.
I already have a litter box and cat food and some catnip-filled mice, so now I just need to figure out a name. Freya? Artemis? Some other name that has nothing to do with ancient mythology at all? No. That would be just silly.
Okay, I think I smell like cat food… Oh well, that's just one of the steps to becoming an evil overlord/crazy cat lady. Yes, I've decided on a career.
*"Don't ponder it, just write it and be done!"†
† Sorry, Claudia. Jeeze.
I'm getting a cat!
A kitten actually. And it's definitely going to be a girl, because my mom has already had two guy cats and she wants a girl cat now.
I already have a litter box and cat food and some catnip-filled mice, so now I just need to figure out a name. Freya? Artemis? Some other name that has nothing to do with ancient mythology at all? No. That would be just silly.
Okay, I think I smell like cat food… Oh well, that's just one of the steps to becoming an evil overlord/crazy cat lady. Yes, I've decided on a career.
*"Don't ponder it, just write it and be done!"†
† Sorry, Claudia. Jeeze.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
WHAT?!
Apparently, Pringles makes pickle-flavored chips. They don't taste as good as the real kind.
So, to business.
What business? You've spent all day writing and watching 3rd Rock From the Sun.
Shut up, Claudia.
Yes, business.
I've been drawing a lot lately. Every so often I drop into a flurry of doodling and sketching, and then abandon it a few days later in favor of Internet-surfing. I might draw a lot, but that doesn't mean any of the things I draw are proportionate to each other. And I can't draw people that look like real people (I drew a poster for my Screnzy script, and Count Brussels looks nothing like Joseph Gordon-Levitt.)
I'm sensing a theme here…
Shut. Up.
But I'm still very proud of my drawings. And I'm getting pretty good at drawing Daleks now! …If by "good" you mean "they don't look like salt and pepper shakers anymore."
Wasn't there originally a point to this post?
Yes! No. Wait, yes. At least, I think there was…
Was it that you're mad because you can't find your sketchpad?
Probably.
I'm mad because I can't find my sketchpad. And I want to know where all the little goblins are taking my things!
You forgot to give the nice people something awesome today.
Yes, of course. Here. Here is your stupid awesome thing.
So, to business.
What business? You've spent all day writing and watching 3rd Rock From the Sun.
Shut up, Claudia.
Yes, business.
I've been drawing a lot lately. Every so often I drop into a flurry of doodling and sketching, and then abandon it a few days later in favor of Internet-surfing. I might draw a lot, but that doesn't mean any of the things I draw are proportionate to each other. And I can't draw people that look like real people (I drew a poster for my Screnzy script, and Count Brussels looks nothing like Joseph Gordon-Levitt.)
I'm sensing a theme here…
Shut. Up.
But I'm still very proud of my drawings. And I'm getting pretty good at drawing Daleks now! …If by "good" you mean "they don't look like salt and pepper shakers anymore."
Wasn't there originally a point to this post?
Yes! No. Wait, yes. At least, I think there was…
Was it that you're mad because you can't find your sketchpad?
Probably.
I'm mad because I can't find my sketchpad. And I want to know where all the little goblins are taking my things!
You forgot to give the nice people something awesome today.
Yes, of course. Here. Here is your stupid awesome thing.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Internets, Lovely Internets. And Claudia Is Here
I'm back! I couldn't post yesterday or the day before, because my grandparents don't have Wi-Fi. But I had fun visiting them, and my aunt was awesome, as always.
"I doubt anyone noticed you were gone. Also, I've noticed some grammatical errors in your post title."
And this is Claudia, my inner editor of life.
"And ‘Newfallen’ isn't a word. It's either ‘New-Fallen’ or ‘New Fallen,’ but it can't be ‘Newfallen.’"
She can be a little harsh sometimes.
"Sometimes? I'm harsh all the time, sister. Also, you should really go do that homework day you've been putting off."
You sound like my mom, Claudia.
"I'm not your mother, but I can act just like her if I need to."
Please don't.
"I really don't deserve this. I could have been inner editor to J.K. Rowling, but I got stuck with you."
If you had been J.K. Rowling's inner editor, the Harry Potter books would have been a lot worse.
"I sense gloom here. Why don't you try and smile once and a while?"
I am smiling. You just can't see it, because you're in my head and can't see my mouth. Oh yeah, I'm smiling really big. I feel like the bottom half of my head is about to fall off!
"Watch that sarcasm, Omnia."
If I tried to keep my sarcasm in check, I'd have nothing to write those books you love trashing with.
"Of course, dear. Now why don't you end this post before you alienate your friends? It's getting a bit long and argumentative."
Whatever.
"I doubt anyone noticed you were gone. Also, I've noticed some grammatical errors in your post title."
And this is Claudia, my inner editor of life.
"And ‘Newfallen’ isn't a word. It's either ‘New-Fallen’ or ‘New Fallen,’ but it can't be ‘Newfallen.’"
She can be a little harsh sometimes.
"Sometimes? I'm harsh all the time, sister. Also, you should really go do that homework day you've been putting off."
You sound like my mom, Claudia.
"I'm not your mother, but I can act just like her if I need to."
Please don't.
"I really don't deserve this. I could have been inner editor to J.K. Rowling, but I got stuck with you."
If you had been J.K. Rowling's inner editor, the Harry Potter books would have been a lot worse.
"I sense gloom here. Why don't you try and smile once and a while?"
I am smiling. You just can't see it, because you're in my head and can't see my mouth. Oh yeah, I'm smiling really big. I feel like the bottom half of my head is about to fall off!
"Watch that sarcasm, Omnia."
If I tried to keep my sarcasm in check, I'd have nothing to write those books you love trashing with.
"Of course, dear. Now why don't you end this post before you alienate your friends? It's getting a bit long and argumentative."
Whatever.
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