Bored Sunday Review

Let me share my opinions on a certain movie, I mean, book series.

I've been a massive fan of ancient Greek mythology from a very young age, although I couldn't pinpoint why. I seriously dislike it when movies and books much around with characters, especially Hades. Look, he's not Satan. That's one of my biggest berserk buttons. He had to rule over the Underworld because he lost at drawing straws. Practically the worst thing he did in the original myths was kidnapping Persephone, and even that turned out all right in the end. It's not like he maliciously tried to—ahem. I'll stop here.

Again, I'm a fan of Greek mythology. Of course, I liked the Percy Jackson books. Like Anatopsis, it had a pretty good representation of the Greek gods, and the books were well-written. The characters were interesting and the plot was great. They had a better-than-most descriptions of ADHD, too. Not my favorite book series EVAR, but I do have most of the books and I read all of them. And that's my review of the Percy Jackson series. Uh-huh, that's all of it.

"What about the movie?"

The movie—What movie? Um, there was a movie? Huh! Fancy that!

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, Omnia. You've seen it twice."

Fine, I'll talk about the movie now.

Yeah…the Percy Jackson movie. To put it simply, I didn't like it. It didn't follow the plot of the book at all, the characters were completely messed up, and they ruined continuity enough to ensure that a sequel movie would never be possible. The special effects were good, for the most part, but that still doesn't make up for the defecated canon.

First of all, the characters. I thought that many of the characters were well-cast, like Percy and Luke, but the Power Trio are supposed to be in sixth grade. That means twelve—well, except for Grover, but that doesn't count! Why, why, why, why are they driving around in a red truck? I admit, if they had returned them to their canonical ages and had them get around like they did in the book it would have taken a lot longer, but it would have been better. I'm not asking for a line-by-line representation of the book, but they could have done it better.

One of my favorite parts was Medusa. That scene was well done and I was cracking Weeping Angel jokes through the whole thing. Inversely, there were a lot of scenes that I didn't like. I didn't like the casino scene, I didn't like the Hades scene or Grover staying with Persephone (There are just so many things wrong with that, I don't even…), and I didn't like the scene at the motel.

The special effects were good, but the characters seemed rather flat and the new plot contrived. Going on a quest for mystical pearls, which are hidden in plain sight all across the country? Really? What was wrong with the original?

Okay, this is a really long post, so I'm just going to end it here. Scha-CHA!

"Omnia, dear, the readers can't see your giant Fate scissors."

Aw, poot. Well, so long for today, my good reader! If you liked this post, I'll do another one next week comparing the Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang book to the movie.

:)

No, Really, I'm Not Dead (Or: My Trip To Ireland: My Own Backyard)

So sorry for not updating you about my absolutely fantastic voyage across the sea. Okay, some parts were a bit less fantastic than others, like when I got lost at the park or being very very very bored at the Guinness Brewery, but some parts really were fantastic, like The Long Room at Trinity College and fresh cheese chips.

Which are French fries in the States, by the way. In case you didn't know. But now you do.

Be warned: This might be a very long post, especially if I decide to try to be funny.

Part one of my journey to the Emerald Isle actually took place in my own proverbial backyard.

Er, my old own proverbial backyard.

Unfortunately, there are no surviving pictures of this stage, so I'm just going to search up pictures on Google Images to illustrate the happenings.

After a four-hour drive and one strawnilla milkshake, I arrived on the doorstep of my awesome friend Emily, who I haven't seen in a while.

Actually, that looks a little bit like us. Just a little bit. Not at all, really.

We played Parcheesi with her brothers, made mini-pizzas, and hung out with our other friend Claire when she arrived. After Other Friend left, Emmers and I fell asleep on the sectional after watching Night at the Museum.

Lessee, what happened the day after that…

Oh, right. Wait, I forget. I remember we went shopping, but everything apart from that and the stuff between the pillow factory and the pirana breeding tank is kind of a blur. But I do remember that the next morning I had toast while watching TV, and then trundled off to the airport, where I spent a lot of time being bored out of my skull.

It wasn't quite that shiny.

We then flew to Newark with the rest of our group, and then spent several more hours sitting around. I ate a pretzel. Almost immediately after getting on the plane, I started messing with the screen and watched some movies. Dinner was better than roast beast compared to usual airplane food (that was a weird analogy…) and there were a lot of good movies. I watched Mythbusters, This Is Spinal Tap, and part of Cars before getting bored.

Before you ask, no, I did not get any sleep. I did listen to Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, though.

That doll thing is staring at me…

Next time on Newfallen Mystery, Omnia monologs about sleep deprivation and explains what happened to her phone in the middle of laughing at peacocks. Claudia might put in an appearance.

A Stroke of Brilliance

So, earlier today I watched the first two Star Wars films. By which I mean, A New Hope (IV) and The Empire Strikes Back (V), not…the other ones. BUT! During the scene In V where Han Solo flies the Millenium Falcon into an asteroid field, I took note of Leia's line, "You don't have to do this just to impress me." I knew that in my current writing project (Untitled), Han would have most likely retorted, "Because I'm obviously trying to impress you," or something along those lines.

HANG ON A MINUTE, GIRLFRIEND.

Lily—Han—Hatter—Leia—Crossover—Sweet zombie Jesus! (Aheh. Heh. Random Futurama joke inserted for your confusion.)

• I had the brilliant idea to rewrite the Star Wars Original Trilogy with my characters. 
• Kitty, the slightly annoying younger sister of my MC's friend, as Luke 
• Hatter (yes-it's-Alice-in-Wonderland-themed-why-you-ask?) as Leia
• Lily, his fiancee, as Han Solo
• Allie, my MC, as R2D2
• Arthur, Allie's friend and Kitty's older brother, as C3PO
• The magician Dune, Kitty's former mentor, as Obi-Wan Kenobi (I had to invent a couple of characters, but now they're actually making the story better!)
• Bianca, Lily's mother and Arthur and Kitty's aunt, as Lando Calrissian (another invented character, but I swear she's gonna be great.)
• Anatolia, the main Big Bad and owner of a company that makes toasters, as Darth Vader
• Maurice, Anatolia's lame-ish brother, as the Emperor
• Aaaand finally: Parker, Allie's boyfriend and a complete geek, as Yoda

I've written just a little bit, but it's already hilarious to everyone who's read the original story. (Including me, that number would be one.)

I am such a geek.