This Was At One Point A Dream Blog, Right?

I had the most normal dream ever last night. My class and I were at a haunted house that was part of our school, and then we were at Disney World. That seems…fairly normal, by my standards.

But then at one part the little sister of a girl in my class was collecting blankets but she wasn't going to send them to the troops (Apparently this happened during WWII…?) because they had enough and she instead was going to cut them up and give them to the poor. Yeah.

But then there was the part where we were eating Fritos but were for some reason calling them Doritos, and I was able to fit a whole bunch of them in my mouth, which impressed/weirded out some of the guys.

But then there was the part where I ran around the Disney store shouting about sweaters and then my dad tried to set me up with an 8-year-old girl, albeit jokingly. Because that's not creepy in the slightest.

You probably shouldn't read into this dream that much, unless I want to end up on a psychiatrist's couch.

-----

For most of yesterday evening, if you wanted to calculate the center of a triangle made by points A-throwing up, B-crying, and C-falling asleep, all you would have had to do was attach a interdimensional triangulation thing to me, as I was balancing on a knife's edge in the center of said triangle. However, a source of great angst for me over the past few weeks has turned into something wonderful, so I'm cool.

Now if only I could translate these great passages into my novel…. My characters are eating cereal. I have an outline, goshdarnit!

Dream Dream

Had another dream this morning. I just woke up from it and I do not remember any sort of logical progression in it at all. It was basically me walking around for a while with my laptop, watching nonsensical AT4W videos and bemoaning the fact that my mom got a giant bowl of candy and the only thing I could eat were these tiny mauve triangles that tasted like crap. My cousins put in an appearance, but the only interaction I had with them was grabbing one of the boys and pushing him in front of me while I shouted "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?" and pointed at a tiny, ratty, yappy dog that was sniffing around next to my pool that I don't actually have. For some reason, my house was host to a lotta tiny, yappy dogs. Also they put makeup on my cat and my mom's nonexistent-in-reality boss was sleeping in my bed.

I couldn't have been asleep for too long, because when I fell asleep my alarm was still purring and it's now seven thirty, while my alarm clock goes off at seven fifteen. I'm also typing this blearily while trying to keep my eyes open for more than a few seconds at a  time, having just woken up. My apologies. Now I must go and… *thunk*

Dream Wars, Episode V: The Cybermen Strike Back

Things I remember from the dream I had last night (that is what NFM was originally supposed to be about, after all):

• It involved, for some unexplained reason, me going to stay with some of my favorite internet personalities at this very important, very schmancy hotel, although they were living in the not-schmancy basement.
• Me knowing that Cybermen were hiding behind random things, waiting to attack the schmancy hotel, even though I never actually saw them. I guess I'm just Genre Savvy like that.
• My friend's mom coming to pick me up, claiming that I couldn't stay here with the very nice internet people. Very sad. 
• Somebody hacking my NaNoWriMo account and posting random gibberish and dinosaur GIFs. They didn't even post new posts, they just efited my old ones. I eventually got my account back under my control, with the help of one of the internet personalities. She was very nice about it, even though I woke her up in the middle of the night, babbling about Purple Elephants and dinosaur GIFs.
• Me and my parents driving around a frozen late, even though it wasn't winter. Not even for any particular reason, just because we wanted to. It was awesome. 

I remember next to nothing about how these scenes are supposed to fit together, but they're relatively amusing just on their own.

Another Dream

Last night, I had a pretty cool but very demented dream. All right, it was this morning during my 10 AM catnap.

Anyway, I went to this restaurant with a group of people. The only ones I can remember were my dad and this kid in a pastel blue-and-yellow striped shirt, like he just stepped out of a Dr. Suess book. Maybe my mom was there too. I can't remember.

From the outside, the building just looked like a normal, one-floor turquoise house, without a sign for the restaurant or anything.

Just after we were seated, I got up to take a look around, because apparently there was a whole mall-type place in that one little building. After wandering about for an unknown amount of time and going up and down so many staircases trying to find my way back to the group, I walked out onto a balcony above a store that looked suspiciously like the Guinness Brewery gift shop, except it sold everything you could ever need. Creepy, right?

I asked a clerk how to get back to the restaurant, but even after following her directions I still hadn't found my way back to the restaurant, but then my dad and Dr. Suess guy appeared, looking for me. They led tried to help me get back to the restaurant, but then we came upon a Haunted Mansion hallway that we had to run through, although it was strangely empty.

But then a giant freaking powder blue train came out of nowhere—veeeeery slowly—and for some reason the little boy had to…drive the train, I guess? I don't know what happened. Then I got a magical artifact that I have no recollection of whatsoever, and then I woke up.

No, no, I didn't really wake up. I wasn't even in my bedroom. And now a fairy was there, too.

I don't remember exactly what happened next, but then Daddy Dearest and the little boy showed up again, and apparently the fact that the train had been moving slowly was important. And soon after that, I woke up.

That's it. It was pretty cool, if pointless.

Platypodes and Anime Vampires

Yeah, that's basically what I dreamed about last night. At the beginning I was at some sort of jungle-themed summer camp, and for some reason I brought my fat, fluffy, orange pet platypus. But—oh noes!—pet platypus was injured in some way that was never really clear to me! Maybe it was her foot or something…?

So I took her home (which didn't, in any way, resemble my actual house) and put her in my room, and then I went and sat on the stairs while my younger sister (???) was watching TV. Apparently, she was watching an anime about weird vampire romance. At first I thought it took place in some sort of dystopian future world, but no, the vampires lived in Missouri. Lovely.

And then my mom woke me up and my cat jumped onto my bed. Good morning.

It's Like Monty Python With Robots

I get to drive four hours with my mom to go to the orthodontist today--*headdesk*--but I'll be back tomorrow.

You know something's wrong when I am awake at 6 AM.

So, I had a really weird dream last night while I was only half asleep after half-waking up at 3 AM. Like, super weird. Even for me.

I don't remember a lot of it, but I think there was a plot kind of like Monty Python's The Holy Grail, except Bender from Futurama was in it. And there was another part that I think had Vendetta from Making Fiends.

I'm not quite as original as I used to be. Maybe it's all the TV I've been watching. If it wasn't for Netflix and Hulu, I would literally go insane.

Speaking of TV, did anyone see the Doctor Who mid-season finale on Saturday? Wait, it hasn't been broadcasted in the states yet.

Okay, here's an awesome thing for today. In case you're wondering, this doesn't count. But I'm still laughing evilly.

I'm sure Claudia has something to say about this, but I don't have enough life force to summon her from the depths of Hel today.

No, that's not a typo. She's Nordic.

I Haven't Done This In A While

I hope you weren't too annoyed with yesterday's post. France is awesome, so you shouldn't have been. Come on, they have Napoleon, who was pretty freaking awesome (Moral of the story: That weirdo loner kid with the strange accent WILL grow up to become emperor of a lot of Europe--always.), baguettes, the French language, Vincent Van Gogh…I'm just gonna stop here.

Also, this post was supposed to be about something that I have just got to share with you.

So, everything was business as usual. I woke up in my normal bed with normal light coming in the windows, walked down the hall to my normal kitchen, and said good morning to my normal dad.

No, I didn't. This was a dream. I recognized it pretty quickly and kind of freaked out. My dad told me to calm down and that there was someone in the back room who would help me wake up.

Said person was eerily reminiscent of that one person in Labyrinth. You know, that woman who came into Sarah's room after she thought she was home, and tried to tell her how great and normal everything was. [SPOILERS!] But then it turned out that it wasn't Sarah's actual room at all, and she was in a garbage dump. Fun, fun, fun.

Yeah, that whole movie was kinda mind screw-y.

But back to my dream.

I demanded to wake up, and the witch lady told me to go back to my bed and fall asleep, and then I would wake up. I followed her advice--falling asleep incredibly quickly, for me--but when I woke up I ran back to her and shouted, "This is still a dream!"

Again, she told me just to go back to sleep and I would wake up in the real world. I did, and woke up in the dream again. This happened several more times until I finally snapped and tried to throttle her. (There may have been expletives involved, but I can't remember.)

My dad dragged me off her and she promised that this time for sure I would wake up in the real world. I stomped back to my room and fell asleep.

Guess what happened?

"OMG DAD YOU MADE PANCAKES!"

I actually woke up. What a great Saturday. Unless I'm still asleep and all this has been a dream in which case I really hate my subconscious mind.  I refuse to believe the preceding sentence is true.

-------

Well, this has been a rather roundabout way of saying, "I had a dream where I knew it was a dream and I tried to wake up in the real world, but I kept waking up in the dream." Or, to an extent, "I had a dream once that was kind of like Inception meets Labyrinth."

Also, I finished watching all of Invader Zim on Netflix before going to bed last night.

Only 27 episodes?! SO MUCH ANGST. 

Today's awesome thing is somewhat related to yesterday's. Wait, maybe it was the day before. Oh well. 

How A Winking Car Turned Me Into A Tree

Well, not me. It wasn't me at first. It was this guy and a girl.

In case you couldn't tell from the title, this is a post about a dream.

I spent most of this dream watching this guy, who was some sort of underground-dwelling humanoid species, and his friend, a human girl, run around town following a set of instructions. I wasn't in the dream, I was just an observer.

I can only remember two parts of the dream: At one point, the guy asked the girl which part of town had streets that were paved with brick, and at the end, they went to a lake. While they were looking around, the guy saw a car parked on the path and tried to get the girl's attention, but she just said, "Whatever, it's a car."

And then the car winked at him and turned into the evil guy who was apparently chasing them all along. He turned them into trees in order to get the instructions, but the guy, who I had somehow turned into, dropped the paper on the ground and stepped on it. So the evil guy never got the instructions, because they were trapped in tree roots.

Or so I assume. I kind of woke up then.

Missing Elevators and Freezer Ladders

Okay, I had a very weird dream last night. I was walking around this park-like place carrying a bunch of stuff--two cats, a couple of books, and a jumble of objects wrapped up in a jacket. But then I had to leave, and the only way to get out was up a ladder that was inside one of those freezers, like the ones at grocery stores that hold milk and frozen pizza. I told my mom that I couldn't go up the ladder with the two cats and jacket package, so she told me where to find an elevator.

While I was waiting for the elevator, I happened to see two guys I knew, and we started talking (I don't remember what about). After a pretty long time, I decided that the elevator was never going to come, so I went back to the ladder.

For some reason everything I had been holding except the books and the jacket had disappeared, so I wrapped the books in the jacket and tied it around my waist. Then I climbed up the ladder and found myself back home. It wasn't my real life house, but apparently dream-me lives in some sort of messed-up treehouse.

I can't remember exactly what happened after that, but I know it helped along my theory that dream-me is a lot smarter and more sane than awake-me. Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about the dream that I had that led to this theory. Believe me, it's pretty cool.

Time Machines and Scary Messages

This post is going to be just me recounting a couple of dreams that I had. The first one I had last night, but I can only remember a bit of it. The second I had a long time ago and really freaked me out. I count it as my only real "nightmare."

Last night's dream was basically about the TV show 3rd Rock From The Sun, so it might not make much sense to most of my friends that are reading this. Anyway, Tommy (a character) from one of the first seasons found a time machine and came to the "present," which was around the fourth season. And for some reason nobody noticed that he looked completely different. But then the Tommy from the present walked in and everybody started freaking out. That, I think, is when I woke up.

I bet this means that I need to stop watching so much TV.

In the other dream, my nightmare, I was sitting on the floor of my room, and I happened to look over and see a small TV sitting inside a TV case with velvet curtains. The screen was black, but then the word CLICK appeared in the center of the screen and all the air got sucked out of the room. I tried to call for help, but I couldn't breathe.

I'm pretty sure I died in that dream. That seems to happen to me a lot.

Concerning Crocodiles

But…they're not even crocodiles.

Earlier this month I fell asleep on the couch and I had a dream. One of my weirder ones, to be honest. Which makes it a good start for a blog. To begin with, we don't even have crocodiles in my city.

To refresh your memory, this is what a crocodile looks like.

(That's not a crocodile either. It's a crocodile hat that my mom's Aussie friend gave me.)

In the dream, me and my parents were at the house of our family friends, sitting in their living room. I looked up and saw a dust bunny, like you might find under your bed, crawling up the wall. I asked my dad if it was a crocodile, and he confirmed that it was. And then the "crocodile" kind of…exploded. It wasn't a dust bunny anymore, it was some sort of pheasant-scorpion. And then there were two. It was pretty freaky. One of them started hissing at my dad, and he hissed back at it, which is very not like him. It was around then that I woke up.