Finished!

I fixed it! It's all back to somewhat-normal. A word of warning: I couldn't fix everything Iris screwed up, so you may very well find some odd instances in posting while on your archive binge. Don't worry, that's perfectly normal.

What with all this excitement, I'll be keeping a close eye on you kidses over here. Maybe I'll even go back to posting every day!

Aw, heck, we both—all—know that's not going to happen.

FINALLY

Okay, it has been one week and one day since Iris ran rampant, and I've only just now been able to boot her out of the controls. My blog (and novel!) can return to the rightful path! Stuff might not get quite back to the way it was before, but, hey, can't fight change, amirite?

Dude! This is what you did while I was gone?! If I's known I never woulda left!

Well, that's what you get for being a really annoying protagonist. Give yourself a pat on the back. You've earned it.

Look who woke up on the sarcastic side of the bed this morning.

Look who fell out of the sarcastic tree and hit all the branches on the way down.

We should stop now.

Let's.

Can't Even Access The Design Tab…

Iris, what did you do?!

"Is this an attempt to give your blog a story arc?"

Shut up, Claudia.

"Have you tried clicking the "updated Blogger Interface" button? That might work."

I said shut up!

Sorry 'bouts That

Honestly, Claudia, I can't leave you for five minutes without my blog being destroyed, can I?

"It's not my fault. You're the one who let in that maniac in the first place."

She's not a maniac! She's my MC.

"Whatever you call her, she's still running around the circuits somewhere. What with you writing in the first person, I'm surprised you can get any writing done at all."

It's surprisingly easy to copy her narrative style.

"All right. Now, shoo, go fix the blog."

I don't think so. I think I'm going to go write, sucker.

"Don't you dare click that publish post butt—"

Iris Drops By For A Guest Post

Oh bloody hell, it's the tenth and I haven't updated in four days.

Here is a brief rant by my MC about…giant swamp monsters destroying libraries. (They are a serious issue!) I could be working on my novel right about now, but instead I'm doing this. Screw it, it's my novel, I can do what I like. FREEDOM OF NOVEL RIGHTS! FREEDOM!

Ahem.

---

It's not as if I like being pulled out of reality, dropped in a chair in front of a computer, and told to write a blog post. "Any sort of blog post," they said. She said. There's only one of them, but she's two inches taller than I am and looks pretty insane at the moment, so I should probably be very, very scared.


What sort of blog is this anyway?! There's a thing up at the top that says Newfallen Mystery, but what does that mean?! Spellcheck says that Newfallen isn't even a word!


So, life pretty much sucks. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't constantly worried about my friends, terrified out of my mind of Ms. Freeman, agitated that I can't even come up with a good name for the swamp monster—


Oh yes, the swamp monster. There's two of them, and the baby is in the process of destroying my beloved library. Let me tell you, for a baby, that thing is pretty damn big. 

"Omnia told you not to swear on her blog."

Who the hell are you?!

"I'm the Inner Editor. Now stop that."

Stop what?

"Swearing. Her mother reads this blog, you know."

I am so confused. 

"Well, here comes Omnia to give you a boot back into the novel. You should stay on your best behavior if you ever want to come back and do guest posts again."

But I don't want to do guest posts again!

"Well then I suppose you should just vandalize the blog and hope that she never invites you back."

That's a very good idea, pinkish-purple text.

"I am Claudia, the Inner Editor."

I'm sure you are, dear. What was that you were saying about vandalism?

"I—"


SDJKGHSDKFJHGKGAKJERHSDGGJSDJRHGT THIS IS STUPID. 


"Obviously, you do not understand sarcasm."